Acceptance stops the infinite control fail pattern.

Acceptance comes from the recognition that trying to control thoughts or trying to control uncertainty in the world around you is what actually causes more uncertainty, more anxiety, and more depression in your life. In fact, multiple studies show that attempts to control unwanted thoughts, images, or memories actually prolong the experiencing of them. Control creates a cycle of anxious reactions. Acceptance stops that cycle.

It’s very similar to something called a tesselation. Tessalations, or tesselating patterns, are infinitely repeating patterns of interlocking shapes. In a tesselating pattern, one shape creates openings for more shapes, and those shapes create openings for even more shapes. Here’s an example of a simple tesselating pattern:

Our attempts at control create a tesselating pattern of infinite uncertainty and anxiety.

The pattern starts with a single uncertainty…

…which is followed by attempts to control that uncertainty…

…but only creates more spaces for uncertainty to enter the pattern…

…which requires even more attempts to control, more opportunities for failure, and more and more anxiety as you run out of time and energy trying to control the world.

Acceptance stops the cycle at the first uncertainty. Accept that uncertainty for what it is and don’t try to control it. Welcome that uncertainty into your life. There’s no reason you have to get rid of anxiety or depression before moving on with accomplishing your goals in life. You can move along with them.


6 comments On Acceptance stops the infinite control fail pattern.

  • U r amazing
    U have changed my life

  • iam not able to understand how to accept bad thoughts..
    if i control bad thoughts i become addicted in ocd..

    plz bro help me iam feeling guilty to accept..
    but i know if accept it would be better to live a healthy life..


    • It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s great that you know learning to accept would lead to a healthier life.

      I only provide tools, like the videos, to help people with their journey. I can’t take the journey for you.

  • thanks bro ….u r really good for all.
    after 15yrs iam feeling a bit healthy mood after seeing ur videos..
    kindly help me whenever i ask u
    thanks a lot BROTHER

  • Hi,

    I am having great improvements using acceptance, but I am having problem with graphic sexual thoughts. When I look or remember a trigger my compulsion is I would immidiately stop what I am thinking, split second, I will try to rethink it again to aknowledge and accept the thoughts, but what mostly this will come up as graphic sexual thoughts and it will create more sexual thoughts, like videos, this is very traumatic, specially if these are POCD thoughts and with someone you hold dear, and mostly I won’t be able to continue with letting my thought pass without judgement, these thoughts will now become my new obsessions, bobbing in and out and the added guilt I let these thoughts pass in my head.

    How can you deal with these graphic sexual thoughts? Would just accepting using verbal words and not full blown thinking about it also works as acceptance?

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