Will I have to do deal with these uncertainties forever?

That’s entirely up to you.

To understand what happens through exercises like ERP or ACT, it might help to explore┬áthe answer to this question: Why don’t you spend all day thinking about ugly leaves?

You could pick any tree full of leaves and you could spend all day trying to be certain about whether each leaf on the tree is a good-looking leaf or an ugly leaf. And you’ll probably find many leaves that are somewhere in-between. You might try to find a way to be certain about those. However, it’s likely that you’ll have to live with the uncertainty of not knowing exactly which category they fall into. But if you believe that you should get rid of that uncertainty about which leaves are definitely ugly, it might be a heavy burden that you need to carry around with you. Especially if you believe you need to be certain about the leaves on every tree you see. That would completely bring your life to a halt unless your goal in life was to be certain about the leaves on the trees.

A person who is struggling to be certain about leaves does not have a problem with being certain about leaves. They do not have to learn skills to try to know what is true. Trying to get rid of uncertainty is the disorder. Wanting to be certain about the leaves is the problem. They could just go about their day, spending no time or energy even entertaining any uncertainty about whether the leaves are ugly or good-looking. They don’t have to approach recovery as a means by which they hope to be confident about the leaves. If they do that, they’re still putting the leaves in-charge of their life.

At first, learning recovery skills is going to involve handling some uncertainties. That’s normal after years of training our brains to try to be certain about those things. When we pass a tree, our brains want to go and be certain about the leaves because they’re trying to help us–we enjoyed being certain about the leaves. But there are better, more enjoyable things to spend our lives on. And through practicing doing the things we actually care about, those old uncertainties just become irrelevant. I don’t have to wrestle with uncertainty about my “true” feelings anymore than I have to wrestle with uncertainty about whether the leaves outside my window are good-looking or ugly.

The uncertainties you carry around with you each day are wrapped up in your beliefs, desires, and judgments. They are choices. If you feel plagued by uncertainty about something, explore changes you can make to those three.

Back to FAQs 8 0

Leave a reply:

Your email address will not be published.

Site Footer