You’re an expert in where you are now. But if you want to move to a place you’ve never been, it helps to speak with people who understand that new place. They understand the culture and the language of living in that place and the supports necessary to stay in that place.
You need to participate in deciding how to get to that place because we understand where you are right now. In planning a journey, you need to know where you’re starting from and where you want to go. But when we’re picking that destination, I think it really helps to have somebody else’s input. Not just any random person, but a person that demonstrates through their actions that they’re in the place you want to go to. They know the destination and you know the starting point. Together you can map out the journey and make sure it’s a one-way trip.
You can try to find your way their on your own. Many do and many don’t. You may not want to get help or be told what to do. Sometimes that’s healthy, and other times that’s just part of the illness.
We don’t always know what’s best for ourselves. I spent years and years making the same unhealthy decisions over and over again, always blaming my mental health struggles on other people or unchangeable forces inside of my body or outside of it. Now I know what a massive role my decisions and reactions played in that. It’s not about taking on blame, it’s about being empowered to make decisions that make me happy and recognizing that I can do something about that. So the test for whether you know what’s best for you or not in any given situation might be asking: Are you happy?
If the answer is “no” or you’re struggling to answer that, maybe it’s time to talk to somebody living in a different place in life.