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Be yourself

Checking into relapse

January 28, 2018
-
Posted by Mark

Build a new relationship with uncertainty throughout your life or your daily practices will just logically and rationally have you struggling and suffering and relapsing back into a depressive anxiety hole. This video explains an approach that I credit with helping me recover and maintaining great mental health for the past eight years:

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8 Comments

on Checking into relapse.
  1. Anne
    June 11, 2018 @ 1:09 pm
    -
    Reply

    Hey Mark,
    I’ve been having a hard time with anxiety throughout the past year and I’d like to start doing something about it. I just bought your book but I’d like to find a therapist or a group in Toronto to learn some CBT strategies. Do you have any advice as to how to find someone good to work with? Thanks!

    • Mark
      June 12, 2018 @ 12:15 am
      -
      Reply

      Thanks for reading! Is there a specific reason you’d like to find somebody in Toronto. With video chat, it’s possible to work with great therapists anywhere in the world. I always suggest people look for referrals from patients or check out videos, podcasts, and books the therapist has collaborated on or created. Then we can see the types of things they talk about and do with clients and use that to figure out with whom we’d like to work.

  2. AJAY
    July 26, 2018 @ 2:53 pm
    -
    Reply

    hi mark
    how are you??
    can please tell me how can stop my medication.
    I am taking antidepressants since 1 year
    but now antidepressants itself became the problem.
    when I stop this medication I get burning sensation in my throat.. it is anxiety as it comes and goes it is affecting my life.
    IAM not able to concentrate on my work.
    And when I again take medicine back it’s fine but temporarily.

    please suggest me dear

    I will be grateful for your suggestions.

    • Mark
      August 7, 2018 @ 4:29 pm
      -
      Reply

      It can be useful to work with a therapist or doctor as you’re making changes like that. We still have to learn new skills to handle the stuff happening inside of us so it’s important to be working on those skills.

  3. Bernadette Baird
    August 8, 2018 @ 11:43 pm
    -
    Reply

    Mark-
    Just wanted to THANK YOU for being there and sharing your stories and positivity- my daughter is 15 and has moral OCD and we’ve really been struggling the last few weeks with not engaging with the thoughts and giving them power-it’s just so hard when they present themselves as “you” and twist and turn you around into thinking they’re real. I’m on a Parents of OCD-kids thread and your name and video came up. My daughter LOVES your “Thoughts Vs. Thinking” video and could resonate with so much that you said.
    Thank you thank you keep doing what you do <3
    Bernadette, USA

    • Mark
      August 23, 2018 @ 11:44 pm
      -
      Reply

      Thank you for the kind words, Bernadette. I’m glad your daughter is finding the videos useful and she has you to support her on this journey!

  4. Linden Garcia
    June 5, 2019 @ 9:49 am
    -
    Reply

    Hi Mark.
    I have severe OCD relating to perceived serious health problems. I’ve gone through a ton of different illnesses I thought I had and thought I was going to die from over the years and while it’s atill very much on going; I consider my mental health to be improving thanks to your advice and the techniques you’ve talked about, so thank you.

    I have of course inevitably relapsed several times and wanted to ask how impactful and how much of a set back a relapse is?
    For example, my main compulsion is checking the body part I am fearful of that it feels normal. Several times I’ve managed to gruellingly abstain from checking and engaging in the compulsions for a period of weeks, but so far have ended up checking again. While the general trend is, I feel, an overall improvement; how much does a relapse set a sufferer back?

    If I’ve managed to go, say, three weeks without checking and then check, does that send me back to square one? When I relapse I often get very down about it because I feel like I’ve wasted all the hard work.

    Many thanks,

    Linden

    • Mark
      June 18, 2019 @ 3:38 pm
      -
      Reply

      It could help to recognize that checking on this is just more of the same checking compulsions about illness. It helps me to recognize that I only ever have this moment. In this moment, I can choose to put my time and energy into things I value. If I’ve gone three weeks without checking something and I check, that doesn’t mean anything about this moment. If I’ve spent three weeks checking, that doesn’t mean anything about this moment. So it could really help to ditch that idea of trying to build up some big thing that then falls apart. You just get to choose how you spend your time and energy right now.

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It is so useful to recognize how seemingly "normal It is so useful to recognize how seemingly "normal" checking and controlling fuels the symptoms we hate. If you're struggling with things like derealization / depersonalization, or fears around sexuality, losing your mind, developing psychosis, and anything else that involves losing control of you and your identity, look broadly at how you interact with uncertainty in your life. The brain is simply being logical. If I react to uncertainty about a door lock, or an email, how can I not react to an uncertainty about my existence?! The time we spend on uncertainties that don't trouble us much is what causes the uncertainties that do trouble us.

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